Wrecked

As she walked through the deserted streets the moon helped to light the way as the gloomy streetlights did not. Her head held high she promised herself that she wouldn’t cry until she got there. The only problem with that was that she wasn’t sure where there was!

***

As he had begun to pack his things to leave she had stood in the corner holding her arms round herself as if to stop her insides from spilling out. He wouldn’t look at her and she didn’t blame him. How could she tell him, now, after the fights and that sad final decision to go their separate ways that she was pregnant with his child.
She held that information like a barrier between them until she could watch him extricating his life from hers no more and had left without a word.
She did not care that she had not lifted her bag as she left, nor her keys to get back in, after all, why would she want to?
She saw no-one. She saw nothing except the moon guiding her onwards towards who knows where.

***

Here! Was this it? She looked about her and for the first time took in her surroundings. She was at the top of a hill next to an observatory. The circular viewing platform on which she was standing had a spectacular view of the stars in the clear night sky and over the town whose street lights seemed brighter from up here. At last she felt able to cry and the tears she had been holding back leapt silently from her eyes. Her arms, rigid about her all this time relaxed and dropped to her sides. The grief came in waves as she pictured all the things she regretted. He was leaving and they had been so happy, so happy, but now it was over. They had agreed that it had to be. For the last few months all they had seemed to do was fight. They always made up but the fighting had taken its toll on them both and now he had met someone else and was leaving her, and their fights, for the more exciting and tolerable, new relationship.
The only problem was, the baby! Their baby. She imagined how difficult life would be for her and the baby and wondered how on earth she was to tell him. She could imagine his response.
‘Why now,’ he would shout angrily ‘are you trying to trap me?’
They had reached a place where they were quite civilized towards one another but this news would surely change all that as they would revert to arguing and recriminations. She looked at the stone walls that circled the platform she was standing on and walked over to one of the spaces in the crenellations. Resting her hands on the cool waist high stone she stood looking out over the town and let herself sob. She felt the pain that her baby would have at not having a father keenly but she had reached a decision. He would never know. He couldn’t. It would make the situation impossible. They would have to see each other and he would want to be in his baby’s life. Selfishly she didn’t want that. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do but since they had broken up before she knew…